Dear Mistress,
Dear Mistress,
I have written to so many people, I have three blogs for the kids, I spend hours writing to people I will never see in real life, but for some reason, I never write to you. I suppose some of this is because I talk to you pretty much every day for at least a bit, and some of it is because after being with someone for twenty years, you kind of get used to them just being there. This has its benefits I suppose, but honestly, I really feel a need to connect with you right now so I figured I would start this blog and hope that I keep up with it. I want to keep up with it, I think it would be a good way to give you insight into me, and maybe it will spark some interest in you to discuss things with me.
I suppose one of the reasons I write to you so infrequently is I feel like you never read them. I know that at times you have sat and read it while I was at your feet. I enjoyed this but because the stubby part of my brain was all worked up, I didn't really have much investment in that process. So this is an attempt to write to you frequently, and not worry about if you read it or not... I will share the link every time I post, and you will do what you wish with it.
I've kind of always wanted to dedicate a blog to you anyway. I even though it might be cool to make it all about our journey through D/s together, honestly, I feel like doing that would have given you to much power and control. After all, if I write without any expectation of you responding in any way, it's kind of like offering my soul and not knowing if it's worth noticing. Out of all the feelings I have experienced under your heel, it's that one I hate the most. Yet, here I am, about to do the thing I fear, because I hope you see this and I hope in some way, somehow, it inspires something in you.
I am not worried about what it inspires in you, I only hope it does inspire something in you. If that inspiration is locking me away and forgetting about me, while I desperately write blog post after blog post that you ignore, so be it... I don't think that's what will happen, but I do enjoy extreme examples. In fact I think that's part of the problem with me as a submissive, I am just an extreme person. I am extreme in my feelings, my desires, my actions. I don't have multiple gears, I am either all off or all on, and that's true though every bit of my life. I hate being that way... I hate being so fickle with so many things. However, one thing I am always on about is how much I love you.
I know I'm a pain in the ass, I'm a brat, I'm kind of bad at being a submissive, I'm surly, dark, moody, argumentative, but I'm also loving, earnest, caring, committed, and supportive. I know I don't have a job, but I helped make your job possible. I know I am lazy and could do more around the house, but I hope someday I get better about that. I know that I have many faults, and some of them are things that may never get better, but along with those faults comes a pretty amazing human being with a decent mind, an interesting personality, who I would like to think makes your life a little better.
Do I hope and yearn for some dark things? Yes, but those are becoming less important as time moves on and I am learning to be okay with that... but part of me hopes it isn't too late. I will go into that more in the future I am sure..... for now I am going to let this go, and try to write again tomorrow.
I love you,
The amazing Tann
I have written to so many people, I have three blogs for the kids, I spend hours writing to people I will never see in real life, but for some reason, I never write to you. I suppose some of this is because I talk to you pretty much every day for at least a bit, and some of it is because after being with someone for twenty years, you kind of get used to them just being there. This has its benefits I suppose, but honestly, I really feel a need to connect with you right now so I figured I would start this blog and hope that I keep up with it. I want to keep up with it, I think it would be a good way to give you insight into me, and maybe it will spark some interest in you to discuss things with me.
I suppose one of the reasons I write to you so infrequently is I feel like you never read them. I know that at times you have sat and read it while I was at your feet. I enjoyed this but because the stubby part of my brain was all worked up, I didn't really have much investment in that process. So this is an attempt to write to you frequently, and not worry about if you read it or not... I will share the link every time I post, and you will do what you wish with it.
I've kind of always wanted to dedicate a blog to you anyway. I even though it might be cool to make it all about our journey through D/s together, honestly, I feel like doing that would have given you to much power and control. After all, if I write without any expectation of you responding in any way, it's kind of like offering my soul and not knowing if it's worth noticing. Out of all the feelings I have experienced under your heel, it's that one I hate the most. Yet, here I am, about to do the thing I fear, because I hope you see this and I hope in some way, somehow, it inspires something in you.
I am not worried about what it inspires in you, I only hope it does inspire something in you. If that inspiration is locking me away and forgetting about me, while I desperately write blog post after blog post that you ignore, so be it... I don't think that's what will happen, but I do enjoy extreme examples. In fact I think that's part of the problem with me as a submissive, I am just an extreme person. I am extreme in my feelings, my desires, my actions. I don't have multiple gears, I am either all off or all on, and that's true though every bit of my life. I hate being that way... I hate being so fickle with so many things. However, one thing I am always on about is how much I love you.
I know I'm a pain in the ass, I'm a brat, I'm kind of bad at being a submissive, I'm surly, dark, moody, argumentative, but I'm also loving, earnest, caring, committed, and supportive. I know I don't have a job, but I helped make your job possible. I know I am lazy and could do more around the house, but I hope someday I get better about that. I know that I have many faults, and some of them are things that may never get better, but along with those faults comes a pretty amazing human being with a decent mind, an interesting personality, who I would like to think makes your life a little better.
Do I hope and yearn for some dark things? Yes, but those are becoming less important as time moves on and I am learning to be okay with that... but part of me hopes it isn't too late. I will go into that more in the future I am sure..... for now I am going to let this go, and try to write again tomorrow.
I love you,
The amazing Tann
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